When you’re avoiding real conversations, it’s harder to feel close. That emotional distance can show up physically, too, reducing intimacy and touch. While avoiding conflict may feel like the safest route, it can silently erode emotional closeness, block honest communication, and leave both you and your partner feeling misunderstood. This is conflict avoidance, and it’s more common than you might think, especially in close relationships. Use small, consistent efforts like validating their feelings and practicing active listening. Introduce new ways to communicate by sharing avoiding-conflict examples you’ve noticed and gently encouraging healthier habits.
Conflict Avoidance in Relationships: Causes and How to Cope
This can manifest as constantly rescheduling meetings, making excuses for why now isn’t the right time, or simply never getting around to addressing important issues. Similarly, conflict avoidance isn’t good for our working relationships. A study on workplace incivility found that avoiding conflict doesn’t stop friction from reoccurring in the workplace. Conflict avoidance often gets a bad rap, but the truth is, it’s a natural how to deal with someone who avoids conflict response.
Five Types of High-Conflict Personalities
- It’s not always possible to just opt out or leave an interaction with someone who is being argumentative.
- When conflict arises in the workplace, it’s important to consider your words and phrasing carefully.
- Ask for permission, listen to their cues, and accept their “no” without judgment, pressure, or manipulation.
- This may be able to work for a while in a relationship but having a conflict-avoidant partner may cause you to feel like you will be unable to work out your problems.
Partners may also simply avoid discussing a problem by quickly switching topics when the issue comes up or by being evasive. High-conflict personalities are fundamentally adversarial personalities. They don’t see their part in their own problems and instead are preoccupied with blaming others—possibly you. In this series, I offer many tips for dealing with high-conflict people (HCPs).
Here’s What Conflict Avoidance Looks Like (and What to Do About It)
The end goal of your investigation should be to find a solution that appeases the majority of people. So, for example, you can resolve the conflict in a closed-off office, or even invite the parties involved out for a quick coffee in a place where they haven’t been before. One way of going around this is by having a mediator between the parties involved. This can be a manager or another senior employee or even a colleague. This will allow for the parties to stay on track, and for the resolution to progress in a logical manner. It will also allow you to have a third-person perspective about your problem.
How To Be More Social (If You’re Not a Party-person)
For more information on the importance of body language, check out our article on Body Language & Its Contribution To The Process Of Communication. So, next time you sit down to resolve a problem, try to use more ‘I’ statements rather than the other way around. For example, people are more likely to say You make me feel uncomfortable rather than I felt uncomfortable with your actions. The choice of words that you use makes a key difference in how the other person perceives you.
Your partner may need reassurance that bringing up difficult topics won’t lead to criticism or a https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/what-brain-fog-of-alcoholism-is-and-when-it-goes-away/ heated exchange. Make it clear that your goal is to understand each other and find solutions, not to “win” the argument. Using a calm, non-confrontational tone can make a big difference. These responses likely serve to protect yourself from unhealthy situations or emotional pain.
Stonewalling Could Be Hurting Your Relationship
This part of the brain can’t distinguish between a customer that’s yelling at you or a vicious dog about to attack alcoholism you. It’s up to you to engage your conscious mind in order to defuse the situation. Some of these tips are general, suggesting a mindset to cultivate. Others are more specific in advising you on what to do in the moment. Whether conflict happens between friends, coworkers, or romantic partners, it’s perfectly normal. You may feel uncertain of the best way to resolve each type of conflict as it comes up, but remember that there isn’t always a “best” way.
Unearthing the Root Causes of Conflict Avoidance
It’s important to remember that seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness, but a courageous step towards personal growth. Therapists and counselors can provide invaluable support and guidance in navigating the challenges of overcoming conflict avoidance. Perhaps most insidiously, conflict avoidance tends to perpetuate itself.